Those "Silver Foxes" Just Keep on Comin'.

I was online, the other day, checking my inbox on Adam-4-Adam, when I saw yet another email from a horny older guy in his mid forties. For a while now, I've been thinking about the whole "age" thing when it comes to the Gay community, Gay men in particular. Being the keen social observer that I am, I've noticed a particular pattern where older Gays eroticse the younger generation of Gays. I've witnessed it first-hand, both over the Internet and in social settings. I might not be into older men, but that doesn't stop them from sending me emails via whatever dating site I might be using. In any given week, I receive at least fifteen messages all from men between the ages of 35 to 55.

I got to thinking about my generation of gay men, "Generation Y". Will we share the same fate of "Generation X"? Will we find ourselves still going to "twink" bars and looking for "love", on the Internet, well into our forties and fifties? I would hope not. Seeing that we have the reality of Gay Marriage in our grasps. But, sometimes I just wonder.

;-)   

He Don't Wanna Kiss...He Just Wants to Fuck Fuck Fuck.

This post was originally going to be called; "So, He Won't Kiss You...Yet, He Wants a Blowjob, To Blow Your Back Out, and Possibly Have You Climb His Back." But, I figured that would have been too much of a mouth full.

I was at work the other night, talking with one of my gal pals, when the conversation veered off into sex and men. Mainly, the weird sexual hangups that some men seem to have. Like, for example, how a straight guy might refuse to passionately kiss a girl that he's fucking around with, yet, this same guy will eat her pussy until the cows come home. Isn't it odd how these great discussions seem to start when yours truly is around?

I got to thinking about the alternate Gay version of this conundrum. You know, that Gay guy, usually a "top", who doesn't want to kiss nor blow the other guy he's hooking up with (or on a date with), yet, expects to get served some ass with a blowjob on the side. I've personally seen this situation far too many times. But, two times in particular seem to stand out for me. One, an online hookup and potential date, from last Fall, whose fuckery was just too much to deal with. The other, a date from a month ago.

Guy number one, "Homeboy", I met on Adam4Adam. I loved his photos, which later turned out to be completely fake and stolen from an escort's page. The conversation was cute, he seemed intelligent enough, and he had a good job in real estate. With all of that going for him, I figured I would consider talking to him and see it might lead. And, did I mention those hot photos, which he lifted from the sexy escort's page? I mean, he wasn't unattractive, he just wasn't what I expected. Anyway, it was a cold mid-November Saturday night when Homeboy and I decided to hangout at his temporary home, which also housed his family. I got to his place and noticed the difference in his appearance. But, just like he was intelligent enough, over the phone, he was just cute enough, in person, for me to decide not to ask the million dollar question. Plus, I was
curious about him. Not the "I wanna get to know him" kind of curious, but, the "I wanna study him" kind of curious. I mean, I have a guy here who, one, used fake photos online, two, had the balls to meet with me, and three, did feel compelled to address the obvious elephant in the
room. This was a new kind of fuckery, and I had to investigate it further.

Homeboy and I sat on the couch for awhile, channel surfing, until he invited me into a cluttered and cramped guess bedroom, to finish watching "The Borne Supremacy" on HBO. We laid in bed, cuddling, heavy petting, you know, the usual. But, every time I tried to kiss him
anywhere near the mouth, he would do this sly little move where he would try to steer my head to his crotch. Fed up, I asked him what was up. Homeboy then told me that he doesn't kiss anyone until getting to know them better. So, he didn't want to kiss me, yet, he wanted a blowjob. What the fuck kind of logic is that?!?

Mentally, I threw my hands in the air, said "whatever", and gave him some lack-luster head. I mean, I was bored, it was late, and I didn't feel like making a trek all the way back to my place. After I got bored of blowing Homeboy, he got up and went over to a drawed storage
container by the bed. In which case, he pulls out and throws onto the bed a condom and a small jar of "dollar store" Vaseline. I my head, I'm asking myself: "what kind of fuckery is this guy?". I picked up the jar, looked Homeboy square in the eye, and asked what the hell it was for. He
then informs me that its supposed to be "lube". What the fuck is this, that OZ show? I then sighed, looked back at him, and simply stated: "Nah, its really not." I hate when men are uneducated about the "basics" of man-on-man action.

After I shut Homeboy down, we agreed to take our asses to bed. He bitterly slept on his side and I slept on the other, until the morning came, and I took my ass home to sit in front of the TV with a Mcgriddle. After that morning, Homeboy and I never spoke again.

Guy number two, the "Debater", I met back in July. One Saturday, after a week of "sexting" back and forth, we had an impromptu late-night date. There wasn't much romance between us, but, we had a cute time. He took me to Shadow Bar, where I ended up getting another sexy guys' number. We took a late-night stroll around the Gayborhood, which ended in us going to IHOP for whatever meal it is that occurs at three AM. While waiting for our food, we had the chance to really talk. The Debater had a lot going for him. He was not only sexy, but, he was smart-a recent graduate from Los Angeles, who decided move back home, to Chicago, for law school and to teach the art of Debate to high-schooler's. The more we talked, the more i liked him, and seemingly the more chemistry we had.

After IHOP, the Debater and I came back to my place to unwind. We watched a little TV, cuddled, and started fooling around. Between all of the rubbing, touching, and groping, I made my way to kiss him on the lips. While playing with his dick, he gives me the line: "I don't usually kiss somebody til I get to know them..." I then asked him how long that usually takes, which he tells me is two dates. Yet, he was alright with us "sixty-nining" together. I was somewhat fine with that, and we continued our activity. But, not ten minutes later, he broke his little kissing rule, and began the "sex debate". He wanted to have sex, mainly, he wanted to fuck me. I then picked up his earlier line, about kissing, and threw it right back at him.

Needless to say, he didn't like hearing his own line coming from someone else's lips. But, he got over it, and we had a hot little "session" before he left. The Debater and I continued talking, on and off, after that night, but, it just never went anywhere.

My question is this; what is the mentality and reasoning behind the guy who's up for fucking, and everything else under the sun, yet, doesn't want to lip-lock?

About Last Night: The LUXe "Download" Party

Last week, while on vacation from work, I was looking for the perfect way to put a cap on my week off, and the perfect Friday night segway into the weekend. I started the week with a drag show and $1 drinks at Republic, on Monday, and wanted to do something fun yet different then what I was used to. Don't get me wrong, I love The Prop House-maybe because I only go four times a year, in fact, I was there a week before and had a great booze-filled time. I just wanted try meeting a different crowd, at a different venue, other then the "Prop crowd". The Chicago
gays know what I'm talking about. Plus, I wanted to go out, look sexy and seductive, get a little drunk, and "get my life".

Which lead me to this:

LUXe is a new entertainment/party-promoting group in Chicago's Black Gay nightlife. They've thrown a couple events/parties already this summer, including a Blk Gay Pride "thing" in early July. Even though I've been invited to their past events, I wasn't able to check things out, because of my work schedule. Still, I found it interesting that I hadn't heard any of the usual gay "buzzing" about whether or not these parties were the "tea". Ironically, one of this groups' members happens to be Heartbreaker's(HB's) allegedly-crazy ex-boyfriend, while another member happens to be the not so good-looking neighbor that a screwed with last summer during one of my "low" moments. Small world, right?

Anyway, that night, after going to Forever-21 for a cute white fitted v-neck shirt, I came home, called the guys to let them know where to meet-up, and made my nighttime "transformation". Even though it was drizzling out, and I was of course without my umbrella, I didn't let that deter me from my quest to have a great Friday night clubbing with my buddies. Besides, I looked way too sexy to just stay home, on a Friday night, because of a little rain.

Downtown, we made our way to the large castle known as Excalibur Nightclub. Once inside, my buddy quickly pointed out not only how "dead" the place was, but also how "queen-filled" it was, and if we should go somewhere else. I, on the other hand, noticed the lack of eye candy, and told him that it was still an early twelve midnight, and that we should give the place a good thirty minutes to fill up. Plus, after paying ten bucks to get us into that place, i was damn sure going to get my money's worth. That being said, we quickly made a bee-line over to the bar for a couple of "feel good" drinks, to make the situation enjoyable.

Walking around and sipping our drinks, we took in the club's posh atmosphere. The place was beautiful, the bartenders made great drinks, but, the function or party itself wasn't as "cutting edge" is it was advertised to be. Also, the "VIP" sections weren't exactly different from the rest of the place. The only thing separating the "VIPs" and the general crowd was an extra $50 and a velvet rope. In my opinion, the whole event was just a bit too pretentious for its own good. Basically, the creators were trying too hard. I like the "classy-urban" concept behind their events, but, hopefully, after enough trial and error, this entertainment group can tweak things enough to find the right formula for them.

Thirty minutes and one drink later, my southern buddy and I were still bored with the event, and decided to hop on the subway to hangout in the "Gayborhood" on the north side.

;-)

Featured Video #1: "Strict" Top = "Stone" Lesbian?

Ive been thinking about adding a "Featured Videos" section, to the Blog, for a while now. I'm just now getting around to. Its still in the trial-&-error phase, so I'll see how it goes. Also, I might be making my own "Gossip Girl" styled videos, this upcoming summer. Anyway, since I'm a YouTube junkie, and a lover of video blogs, my "Featured Videos" will feature videos from other bloggers and video makers, who's topics grab my attention. The content will range from important to funny...But, never "cheesy".

Which brings me today's video, by Xem VanAdams. I completely understand and agree with where he's coming from, in this video. He basically summed up my exact viewpoint in under ten minutes. And, you guys already know how I feel when it comes to sexual "labels" and whatnot.



Is he right?

Sidebar: I finally gave in, and Ive.......Joined Twitter! I'm giving it a try, so feel free to Follow me, Friend me, etc: http://twitter.com/Roca_fella07

;-)

Caught in the Spin-Cycle of Online Dating...Is There a Way Out?

Back in February, I hit the one year mark...on my BGC (BlackGayChat) account. Yes, its no secret that I have a BGC account, as well as an Adam4Adam account. I mean, its 2009, what single, computer savvy, on-the-go, Gay man doesn't have a profile somewhere on the Internet?

In the past, I bashed the online dating "avenue" because I felt that the whole thing was just to robotic and inorganic. I compared online dating and looking through peoples profiles, to being the equivalent of browsing Urban Outfitters.com. But, instead of window shopping for a t-shirt, those on dating sites were just window shopping for a potential mate. I also thought it was somewhat tacky, and didn't think it would be "cute" to tell people, someday, that I met my fantabulous boyfriend on the Internet.

Moreover, I assumed that if someone had to resort to using the Internet, to meet a potential date, that they were basically admitting to not being able to find someone, the "normal" way, in the outside world. But, like with with so many other things, I marinated on it, opened my mind, grew a little, came around to the idea, and finally decided to create a couple new profiles online.

So, for the past year or so, I've been doing the whole "online" thing with the sole purpose of finding someone to date. After all, isn't THAT the service that one is signing up for, when one creates a profile on a Dating website? That's what I assumed at first. Until ten or so messages later, when I realized that about 80% (I'm being nice) of the men on those sites are looking for one thing...SEX.

I can't even keep track of how many guys have sent me messages, for the objective of "hooking up" with me. Or, in other words, to "chill". Yes, the term "chill", in urban Gay vernacular, is the new "lets fuck/play". And, I of all people am not going to stand atop my soapbox and wag my finger at those who are online for sex. I mean, with all the "one nights" and "hookup's" I've had, especially recently, I have no room to talk about anyone else. Even though I've tried it on occasion, that the whole "searching the Internet ONLY for sex" thing isn't really my cup of tea. I've actually been online, for the past year, looking for someone to date and get to know.

Which brings me to the other day. I was on BGC exchanging messages and having a little discussion with a guy who gave me quite the education. Here's how it went down (the short version):

Roc: ...Well, where else am I supposed to look?

User XYZ: if u lookin for love...then u definitely should not look for it on here....im sho u meet kats out and about....or at the club somewhere other then here....cause what they all lookin for on here.... quiet as its kept is sex....they just dont say it in the beginning of the conversation ...but if u tight to them then they'll get in yours drawers eventually....most dont keep it real on here.....they pretend to look for love but once u have sex then the idea of love goes out the door and then they r back on here lookin for love again ...which will be sex....and then they repeat the same thing they did with u.....but bgc is what u make it.....im here to check niggas out and see whos got the rite vibe for me to entertain.....normally if i meet one and we chill and or have sex....they dont call no mo after we chill.....so them i find myself back here lonely and lookin for the next thing.....sorry im just keeping it real man....this is my own experiences with bgc and this so called gay life....so i just flow with whats comfortable for me.....

After I marinated on User XYZ's two cents, I got to thinking about the fuckery known as Gay Internet dating. I mean, what the fuck? Is this what the Gay community is all cracked up to be? Are Gay men just destined to be stuck on "repeat" until the end of time?

More importantly, has "true love" become the Gay community's version of the "Holy Grail"?

;-)

Really??

My Initial Reaction To This: "Oh, no ma'am!"

I was in the store, Saturday, picking up some things. And, what did I come across at the checkout counter?...THIS magazine!

Since when did Politicians, other than the President, become Celebrities?...Seriously!?

And, when did Tabloids decide to create fake drama between those in the political arena?

It must have been a slow news week in Hollywood.

;-)

Is He..."Sponge-Worthy"?

Recently, I've trying the whole "hookup" thing, for the first time...Without there being actual "sex" involved. And, yes, I realize that I'm somewhat having rebound issues from the whole Heartbreaker fiasco, seeing that I've never been into "hooking up" with random guys from online (nothing against those who enjoy it).

In season 7 episode 9 of Seinfeld, the character Elaine ran into quite the dilemma. Her main, and favorite, form of birth control was a Sponge product (I'll let you guys use your imaginations to figure out how this product is used). The problem was, the company that made this product was in the midst of discontinuing it. This leads Elaine, who looked all over the city in various Drug Store's with no avail, to buy the last CASE of Sponges from the only store she could find that still carried them. After this, she had to enact a sort of screening process for her sexual partners...To make sure they were "sponge-worthy". Because, lets face it, she had the LAST case of these things, which means that she couldn't just waste them anymore.

For myself, the case of Sponges represents my body, my time, and my sex. I guess, being celibate for going on three years, has taught me to really value my Sexual Self, and to only give my sex to people who are truly deserving of it. After all, not everyone gets to ride the sports car (Jaguar) known as Me. And, being Sponge worthy doesn't only apply to sexual partners. It also applies to potential boyfriends, significant others, etc.

Anyway, the main reason why things didn't go the sex route, in said hookup, is because I realized that the guy wasn't "sponge-worthy" (and, he wasn't Heartbreaker). Hell, he wasn't even really one of my "types". Don't get me wrong, he was actually a really cool and nice guy. But, I just couldn't envision us together...which kills the whole fantasy component of the hookup for me. And, when I asked if he had any Lube, he directed me to damn bottle of LOTION!...I just can't deal with a "grown" man who gives me that kind of fuckery. I mean, I don't even MASTURBATE with lotion.

I also realized, from this encounter, that their might actually need to be a "connection" or "spark" or "vibe" between me and a guy, in order for me to be sexual with a guy, and actually enjoy it. So, there goes the "meaningless sex" card...out of my deck and into the fire.

As for me, for a man to be considered sponge-worthy or boyfriend material, there's actually a small list of qualifications. The main one, being that I need to be able to "see" myself with the guy in question. If I can realistically "see" myself kissing, cuddling, etc, with said guy, then I could very well consider him being sponge-worthy.

Do we all have our own version of Elaine's "sponge-worthy" concept?

;-)

Oh Honey, We're All "Working" Girls.

Lately, I've been referring to myself as a "working" girl. And, referring to guys who look at me, and like what they see, as potential "customers".

No, I'm not a hooker, escort, sex worker, or whatever name you might fancy. And, what I'm talking about has nothing to do with any monetary. But, I'm not only a Single Man...I'm a Single Person living in the damn city. And, recently, I've noticed (as a Single myself) that we (within the Single sub-culture) market or display ourselves, hoping to find that ultimate "customer" (boyfriend/girlfriend) who will like what they see and want to buy what we are selling.

Just think about it. Men, Women, Gay, or Straight, it doesn't matter. We all have been, or still are, Single, and on "display". Most Singles make sure they're extra "fly" before leaving the house. Men might don that special "smell-good" that drives the Men/Women wild. Women do the same thing. But, in a Woman's case, she might add those "fuck me" pumps, a mask of makeup, cute nails, etc.

We go out to bars, clubs, parties, even shopping, as walking spokesmodels showing off the merchandise known as...Ourselves.

For example, while grocery shopping, last week, I picked up a "customer". I was in the frozen foods section, this guy (who's not really my type) liked what he saw, and he decided to approach me. Basically, he liked what I was selling, and wanted to be a potential "customer".

Now, personally, when I'm out-n-about, I like to sell a kind of sex appeal...mainly because I'm somewhat of a tease, somewhat of a flirt, and I like validation from others. But, back to my point, as a Single I'm putting out that special Single "vibe" and displaying my merchandise, hoping that another Hot Single will want to buy what I'm selling. And, there's a Single out there hoping that I might want to buy what he's also selling.

There's a reason why its called being "on the market".

I'm sure you've seen it. Those who finally land that ultimate "customer" might stop caring a tab less about their appearance and giving off a certain vibe. This is because they no longer have to display themselves for potential "customers". They already have what they want, so, why over-advertise?

Also, Singles have to carry the weight of wearing two hats, so to speak. Both as the "working" person and as a potential "customer". We might be out there selling a product, but, we're also looking to buy that similar product of a fellow "working" person. Hell, why do you think Singles Parties were such a huge success not too long ago? And, don't even get me started on the whole Club Scene.

Do you have the "working" girl mentality?

Well, I know I do.

;-)

My Thoughts On...Steve Wilkos

I've been catching his little "show" on and off for a while now. Its basic premise is...Steve spending an hour yelling at guests for various reasons. Maybe they're just plan morally reprehensible, or they've wronged someone else (who come to the show for "help" or
"vindication").

Bitch please! Its all too obvious what this Ego Trip Circus is really about.

Its a personal Ego-Feeder for good ole Stevie. What is an Ego-Feeder? Yes, its a term I've made up. Its ANYTHING that we, as people, purposely do in order to feed our own Ego's. Some are good/innocent, others are bad. Prime examples?...Kids teasing each other for various reasons, adults talking about each other, women making catty comments, and, sometimes, Gay men "reading" each other (LOL).

Anyway, I can just imagine the producers of this show going through whatever process they go through to choose the most morally irreprehensible people for this guy to berate on national television....WITH NO RESOLUTION WHAT-SO-EVER!!

Don't get me wrong, SOMETIMES its really entertaining and funny to watch Mr. Wilkos basically "read" someone for pure filth.

Oh yes sir, I often wish I had my own show, where I could yell "I'm better than you!" at social miscreants, and boost my own Ego...I think everyone would love to just have there own version.

This show is in its first season, and its already tired. I give half of another season.

Side Note: I'm not defending any of the quest from this show. I'm just saying...This spectacle is about as "real" as Jerry Springer.

Funny thing is, if I'm around my TV at 2-whatever, I always found myself thinking/saying "Lets see who Steve is screaming at today." Then I wait or General Hospital to go to commercial and change the channel.

;-)

Something New...A Change IS Coming

I've had this on my mind for about a week now. But, I didn't really know where I wanted to go with it, or how I wanted it to come off. So, just like the B&J Ice Cream, this new addition is going to have everything but the kitchen sink.

So, here it is...I'm adding a "My Thoughts On..." section to the blog/journal.

This is where I'll just rant about various thing I might feel like ranting about (LOL). Sometimes it'll be about current events, random thoughts, or whatever "grinds my gears".

Some posts will be organized...Some/most will not. Some might be long...Some might be short. Some might even be on video, later on.

Like I said, everything but the kitchen sink.

Now, let me take my ass to bed!...Because it's 3:40am, and I got class in the afternoon! LMAO!!

;-)