Sunday, September 27, 2009

He Don't Wanna Kiss...He Just Wants to Fuck Fuck Fuck.

This post was originally going to be called; "So, He Won't Kiss You...Yet, He Wants a Blowjob, To Blow Your Back Out, and Possibly Have You Climb His Back." But, I figured that would have been too much of a mouth full.

I was at work the other night, talking with one of my gal pals, when the conversation veered off into sex and men. Mainly, the weird sexual hangups that some men seem to have. Like, for example, how a straight guy might refuse to passionately kiss a girl that he's fucking around with, yet, this same guy will eat her pussy until the cows come home. Isn't it odd how these great discussions seem to start when yours truly is around?

I got to thinking about the alternate Gay version of this conundrum. You know, that Gay guy, usually a "top", who doesn't want to kiss nor blow the other guy he's hooking up with (or on a date with), yet, expects to get served some ass with a blowjob on the side. I've personally seen this situation far too many times. But, two times in particular seem to stand out for me. One, an online hookup and potential date, from last Fall, whose fuckery was just too much to deal with. The other, a date from a month ago.

Guy number one, "Homeboy", I met on Adam4Adam. I loved his photos, which later turned out to be completely fake and stolen from an escort's page. The conversation was cute, he seemed intelligent enough, and he had a good job in real estate. With all of that going for him, I figured I would consider talking to him and see it might lead. And, did I mention those hot photos, which he lifted from the sexy escort's page? I mean, he wasn't unattractive, he just wasn't what I expected. Anyway, it was a cold mid-November Saturday night when Homeboy and I decided to hangout at his temporary home, which also housed his family. I got to his place and noticed the difference in his appearance. But, just like he was intelligent enough, over the phone, he was just cute enough, in person, for me to decide not to ask the million dollar question. Plus, I was
curious about him. Not the "I wanna get to know him" kind of curious, but, the "I wanna study him" kind of curious. I mean, I have a guy here who, one, used fake photos online, two, had the balls to meet with me, and three, did feel compelled to address the obvious elephant in the
room. This was a new kind of fuckery, and I had to investigate it further.

Homeboy and I sat on the couch for awhile, channel surfing, until he invited me into a cluttered and cramped guess bedroom, to finish watching "The Borne Supremacy" on HBO. We laid in bed, cuddling, heavy petting, you know, the usual. But, every time I tried to kiss him
anywhere near the mouth, he would do this sly little move where he would try to steer my head to his crotch. Fed up, I asked him what was up. Homeboy then told me that he doesn't kiss anyone until getting to know them better. So, he didn't want to kiss me, yet, he wanted a blowjob. What the fuck kind of logic is that?!?

Mentally, I threw my hands in the air, said "whatever", and gave him some lack-luster head. I mean, I was bored, it was late, and I didn't feel like making a trek all the way back to my place. After I got bored of blowing Homeboy, he got up and went over to a drawed storage
container by the bed. In which case, he pulls out and throws onto the bed a condom and a small jar of "dollar store" Vaseline. I my head, I'm asking myself: "what kind of fuckery is this guy?". I picked up the jar, looked Homeboy square in the eye, and asked what the hell it was for. He
then informs me that its supposed to be "lube". What the fuck is this, that OZ show? I then sighed, looked back at him, and simply stated: "Nah, its really not." I hate when men are uneducated about the "basics" of man-on-man action.

After I shut Homeboy down, we agreed to take our asses to bed. He bitterly slept on his side and I slept on the other, until the morning came, and I took my ass home to sit in front of the TV with a Mcgriddle. After that morning, Homeboy and I never spoke again.

Guy number two, the "Debater", I met back in July. One Saturday, after a week of "sexting" back and forth, we had an impromptu late-night date. There wasn't much romance between us, but, we had a cute time. He took me to Shadow Bar, where I ended up getting another sexy guys' number. We took a late-night stroll around the Gayborhood, which ended in us going to IHOP for whatever meal it is that occurs at three AM. While waiting for our food, we had the chance to really talk. The Debater had a lot going for him. He was not only sexy, but, he was smart-a recent graduate from Los Angeles, who decided move back home, to Chicago, for law school and to teach the art of Debate to high-schooler's. The more we talked, the more i liked him, and seemingly the more chemistry we had.

After IHOP, the Debater and I came back to my place to unwind. We watched a little TV, cuddled, and started fooling around. Between all of the rubbing, touching, and groping, I made my way to kiss him on the lips. While playing with his dick, he gives me the line: "I don't usually kiss somebody til I get to know them..." I then asked him how long that usually takes, which he tells me is two dates. Yet, he was alright with us "sixty-nining" together. I was somewhat fine with that, and we continued our activity. But, not ten minutes later, he broke his little kissing rule, and began the "sex debate". He wanted to have sex, mainly, he wanted to fuck me. I then picked up his earlier line, about kissing, and threw it right back at him.

Needless to say, he didn't like hearing his own line coming from someone else's lips. But, he got over it, and we had a hot little "session" before he left. The Debater and I continued talking, on and off, after that night, but, it just never went anywhere.

My question is this; what is the mentality and reasoning behind the guy who's up for fucking, and everything else under the sun, yet, doesn't want to lip-lock?

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

About Last Night: The LUXe "Download" Party

Last week, while on vacation from work, I was looking for the perfect way to put a cap on my week off, and the perfect Friday night segway into the weekend. I started the week with a drag show and $1 drinks at Republic, on Monday, and wanted to do something fun yet different then what I was used to. Don't get me wrong, I love The Prop House-maybe because I only go four times a year, in fact, I was there a week before and had a great booze-filled time. I just wanted try meeting a different crowd, at a different venue, other then the "Prop crowd". The Chicago
gays know what I'm talking about. Plus, I wanted to go out, look sexy and seductive, get a little drunk, and "get my life".

Which lead me to this:





LUXe is a new entertainment/party-promoting group in Chicago's Black Gay nightlife. They've thrown a couple events/parties already this summer, including a Blk Gay Pride "thing" in early July. Even though I've been invited to their past events, I wasn't able to check things out, because of my work schedule. Still, I found it interesting that I hadn't heard any of the usual gay "buzzing" about whether or not these parties were the "tea". Ironically, one of this groups' members happens to be Heartbreaker's(HB's) allegedly-crazy ex-boyfriend, while another member happens to be the not so good-looking neighbor that a screwed with last summer during one of my "low" moments. Small world, right?

Anyway, that night, after going to Forever-21 for a cute white fitted v-neck shirt, I came home, called the guys to let them know where to meet-up, and made my nighttime "transformation". Even though it was drizzling out, and I was of course without my umbrella, I didn't let that deter me from my quest to have a great Friday night clubbing with my buddies. Besides, I looked way too sexy to just stay home, on a Friday night, because of a little rain.

Downtown, we made our way to the large castle known as Excalibur Nightclub. Once inside, my buddy quickly pointed out not only how "dead" the place was, but also how "queen-filled" it was, and if we should go somewhere else. I, on the other hand, noticed the lack of eye candy, and told him that it was still an early twelve midnight, and that we should give the place a good thirty minutes to fill up. Plus, after paying ten bucks to get us into that place, i was damn sure going to get my money's worth. That being said, we quickly made a bee-line over to the bar for a couple of "feel good" drinks, to make the situation enjoyable.

Walking around and sipping our drinks, we took in the club's posh atmosphere. The place was beautiful, the bartenders made great drinks, but, the function or party itself wasn't as "cutting edge" is it was advertised to be. Also, the "VIP" sections weren't exactly different from the rest of the place. The only thing separating the "VIPs" and the general crowd was an extra $50 and a velvet rope. In my opinion, the whole event was just a bit too pretentious for its own good. Basically, the creators were trying too hard. I like the "classy-urban" concept behind their events, but, hopefully, after enough trial and error, this entertainment group can tweak things enough to find the right formula for them.

Thirty minutes and one drink later, my southern buddy and I were still bored with the event, and decided to hop on the subway to hangout in the "Gayborhood" on the north side.

;-)

Monday, July 20, 2009

Update: 7-20-2009

I've been gone for far too long...in more ways then one. Luckily, I'm done with school for the rest of the summer, and I can actually enjoy a summer for once. Plus, I finally have a much need vacation away from the job, starting this Friday.

Another reason why I haven't really been writing, I guess, is because I've been having a hard time organizing my thoughts so that they sound clear. I guess that's the downside of taking a Composition English class. But, I came around, and realized that my "freestyle-n-proofread-n-spellcheck-later" method of writing this blog is what feels natural to me, and puts the fun writing for me. Besides, I've never really been a "rule driven" person. Anyway, just like Georgina from "Gossip Girl", the boy is back.

I really don't know where to start, but, I'm drafting something right now that should be posted within the next couple days.

Stay with me guys.

;-)

Saturday, May 30, 2009

23 Questions...The Birthday Edition

Ok, my birthday was yesterday. But, since I had to work, I'm celebrating it this entire weekend (the 30-31st). I really want to take on being 23 with something different. A new outlook of things, a new attitude, and maybe trying a more "grown up" look. It is a year of Change right?

All that being said, and without being too wordy, this is a "Ask the Writer" post that I've been curious about trying for a while. Since I'm turning 23, I figure why not?

Here's how it goes: Readers can ask me as many questions as they like. But, of those questions, I will answer only 23 of the best and most interesting questions, which will be answered in an upcoming post. This post will stay up for 2-3 weeks, just to give people time to either find it or have time to think...there's no rush!

By the way, if you follow my Twitter, roca_fella07, you might already know...I got my nipples pierced the other day! I'm I still a prude?

Have fun.

;-)

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Featured Video #1: "Strict" Top = "Stone" Lesbian?

Ive been thinking about adding a "Featured Videos" section, to the Blog, for a while now. I'm just now getting around to. Its still in the trial-&-error phase, so I'll see how it goes. Also, I might be making my own "Gossip Girl" styled videos, this upcoming summer. Anyway, since I'm a YouTube junkie, and a lover of video blogs, my "Featured Videos" will feature videos from other bloggers and video makers, who's topics grab my attention. The content will range from important to funny...But, never "cheesy".

Which brings me today's video, by Xem VanAdams. I completely understand and agree with where he's coming from, in this video. He basically summed up my exact viewpoint in under ten minutes. And, you guys already know how I feel when it comes to sexual "labels" and whatnot.



Is he right?

Sidebar: I finally gave in, and Ive.......Joined Twitter! I'm giving it a try, so feel free to Follow me, Friend me, etc: http://twitter.com/Roca_fella07

;-)

Monday, May 4, 2009

Caught in the Spin-Cycle of Online Dating...Is There a Way Out?

Back in February, I hit the one year mark...on my BGC (BlackGayChat) account. Yes, its no secret that I have a BGC account, as well as an Adam4Adam account. I mean, its 2009, what single, computer savvy, on-the-go, Gay man doesn't have a profile somewhere on the Internet?

In the past, I bashed the online dating "avenue" because I felt that the whole thing was just to robotic and inorganic. I compared online dating and looking through peoples profiles, to being the equivalent of browsing
Urban Outfitters.com. But, instead of window shopping for a t-shirt, those on dating sites were just window shopping for a potential mate. I also thought it was somewhat tacky, and didn't think it would be "cute" to tell people, someday, that I met my fantabulous boyfriend on the Internet.

Moreover, I assumed that if someone had to resort to using the Internet, to meet a potential date, that they were basically admitting to not being able to find someone, the "normal" way, in the outside world. But, like with with so many other things, I marinated on it, opened my mind, grew a little, came around to the idea, and finally decided to create a couple new profiles online.

So, for the past year or so, I've been doing the whole "online" thing with the sole purpose of finding someone to date. After all, isn't THAT the service that one is signing up for, when one creates a profile on a Dating website? That's what I assumed at first. Until ten or so messages later, when I realized that about 80% (I'm being nice) of the men on those sites are looking for one thing...SEX.

I can't even keep track of how many guys have sent me messages, for the objective of "hooking up" with me. Or, in other words, to "chill". Yes, the term "chill", in urban Gay vernacular, is the new "lets fuck/play". And, I of all people am not going to stand atop my soapbox and wag my finger at those who are online for sex. I mean, with all the "one nights" and "hookup's" I've had, especially recently, I have no room to talk about anyone else. Even though I've tried it on occasion, that the whole "searching the Internet ONLY for sex" thing isn't really my cup of tea. I've actually been online, for the past year, looking for someone to date and get to know.

Which brings me to the other day. I was on BGC exchanging messages and having a little discussion with a guy who gave me quite the education. Here's how it went down (the short version):

Roc: ...Well, where else am I supposed to look?

User XYZ: if u lookin for love...then u definitely should not look for it on here....im sho u meet kats out and about....or at the club somewhere other then here....cause what they all lookin for on here.... quiet as its kept is sex....they just dont say it in the beginning of the conversation ...but if u tight to them then they'll get in yours drawers eventually....most dont keep it real on here.....they pretend to look for love but once u have sex then the idea of love goes out the door and then they r back on here lookin for love again ...which will be sex....and then they repeat the same thing they did with u.....but bgc is what u make it.....im here to check niggas out and see whos got the rite vibe for me to entertain.....normally if i meet one and we chill and or have sex....they dont call no mo after we chill.....so them i find myself back here lonely and lookin for the next thing.....sorry im just keeping it real man....this is my own experiences with bgc and this so called gay life....so i just flow with whats comfortable for me.....

After I marinated on User XYZ's two cents, I got to thinking about the fuckery known as Gay Internet dating. I mean, what the fuck? Is this what the Gay community is all cracked up to be? Are Gay men just destined to be stuck on "repeat" until the end of time?

More importantly, has "true love" become the Gay community's version of the "Holy Grail"?

;-)

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Its Gone Out The Window

A long time ago, when I started this Blog/Journal, a few posts in, I wrote a post about being celibate. Well, that's not the case anymore. That's right everyone, as of January 1st of this year, I'm no longer celibate. Was it all just a "phase"?

Why did I give up being celibate after nearly three years? I realized that, being a little older now, that I have a good enough "filtering" system, for figuring out whether or not a guy is "sponge worthy". Plus, I came to the conclusion that, if I want any hope of keeping a guy around, I'm going to have to start having sex. And, the whole "I'm celibate" thing isn't going to work if I want someone to be in a relationship with me.

Things have gotten interesting...To say the least.

;-)


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