Back Story: "Jay" and I meet online during the Summer before my freshmen year. We chatted for a while, started talking on the phone, and instantly became friends. He lives, and goes to school, down south. But, he's from Chicago, still has family here, and visits from time to time. "P" is "Jay's" best friend, who actually still lives in Chicago, but, goes to school in down-state IL. "P" and I got introduced to each other through "Jay" and became instant friends also. And, since we were close in closer proximity, we were able to hangout.
Here's how it went:
-Our friendship progressed, "J" and "P" wanted to become closer then I
allow ANYONE to be to me (which, for normal people, isn't a big deal).
-I started to become attached to them...Which is a HUGE no no, for me.
-"J" got angry at me for not trusting them enough to take-down my "wall".
-I got angry at him for not understanding that I am who I am.
-We stopped talking. I then got angry with "P" for siding with "J", and stopped
talking to his incredibly nice ass also.
And, their it was...My way out of committing to them and opening myself up. Funny thing is, I was also angry at and jealous of "J" because, at the time, he was in a sickeningly happy relationship with his boyfriend. And, at the time, I was in the same man-less place that I'm in now. And, deep down, I'm a selfish bastard who thinks that if I can't be happy, I don't want anyone else to be.
Anyway, I stopped talking to my ex best friends until I quit missing them. Besides, after a certain period of time went by, I figured it was too late to fix things. And, I was sure that we had all moved on with our lives.
I've grown a lot since then. And, I've always wondering how they were doing.
All of that being said, since I can't leave well enough alone, I hit them up on Facebook a couple months ago. "P" added me as a "friend", but wont return my emails. "J", on the other hand, didn't give me anything back.
I guess some things are just meant to stay broken...Friendships, People