Mr. Wine vs. Mr. Tequlia...The Age-Old Battle

A few weeks ago, I was chatting with a longtime buddy of mine. To make a long story short, I liked him years ago, he didn't act interested, I grew up and realized exactly the type of guys I really liked, he came back around, told me he had a "thing" for me now, and I basically had to break it to him that he wasn't my "type" anymore. In breaking this news to him, a funny notion started cooking in my mind. And, it made perfect sense. I'm hoping it'll make to you guys and gals too.

Let me be the first to say it...Men are like cocktails. Some guys are smooth and sophisticated, like wine. While others are wild and leave you with a hangover, like tequila or whatever hard liquor you might prefer. After taking a minute to really think about it, I realized that its not
only true, but the philosophical battle between the two, Mr. Wine and Mr. Tequila, has been going on for ages. And, most recently, they've been having a tennis match in my own head.

Like I mentioned before, "wine" guys are smooth and sophisticated. They also tend to older, drama free, tame, mature, and more straightforward about their feelings. Case in point, I actually dated a "wine" guy for almost two months. I also hooked up with one this past Summer, but, that's for another time. Anyway, I met a massage therapist by the name
of "Hands" in August. We met while I was modeling shirtless at the Chicago Pride booth, at Market Days. At first, it was just a passing flirtation while I handed him a flyer. But, little did I know that Hands and I would end up meeting that night, at a downtown club.

While at Shadow Bar, with my guys, Hands and I ran into each other as if fate itself had willed it so. I thought he was cute, he liked how I looked with my shirt off, and two minutes of witty conversation later we were exchanging numbers. We ended up talking and texting ourselves into that following Mondays' mid-afternoon lunch date at a downtown "gourmet" burger spot that I had seen on the Zagat site. The date went really well. As it turned out, Hands was a 32 year-old educated, well-traveled, driven, sweetheart who worked in Chicago's Financial District while pursuing a career as a massage therapist. We hit it off well, even though I was a little put off by our age difference. I mean, lets face it, while he was hitting puberty, I was still in diapers and potty training.

During the course of us dating, I noticed that he liked me a lot more than I liked him. Apparently, he felt the "spark", while I, on the other hand, didn't. I liked Hands, but, I just didn't feel "over the moon" about him. After we parted I realized what was really wrong. To anyone else, Hands would be "Mr. Right". But, to me, he was boring. He was too nice, too tame, didn't like going out or partying much, and he was too easy to be with. Basically, Hands was a "Wine" guy. He wasn't wild, crazy, adventurous, fun, and challenging puzzle...like a "Tequila" guy...like H.B., who I've spent a lot of time with last Summer, or like the other guys that I'm attracted to.

Does this all mean that I'm secretly attracted to..."bad boys"?

;-)

Labels, Labels, Labels!...And The Fuckery They Bring.

So, I've been wondering for the longest, what's the fucking deal Gay men and labels, when it comes to each other? I seem to only run into guys who are stuck on labels, for themselves, as well as other men. Meaning, the whole "Top", "Bottom", "Versitile", "Versitile-Top", and "Versitile-Bottom" label thing that it seems most Gays like to use for, and on, each other.

Personally, I've never been into the lable thing. I don't use any of the previously used labels to describe myself nor do I use them when looking for a boyfriend, date, etc. Even on my Adam4Adam and BGC profiles, I don't have anything listed under my "position". Also, while online looking at various profiles or pages, I don't use a guy's listed "position" to detemine whether or not I'm going to send him a message. In my rational; if I think he's hot, I like the content in his profile, and if his dimensions line-up, I send a message.

Lately, I've been coming across guys who are hung-up on labels. Heartbreaker was(is) hungup on being a "Top". So much so, that he lets it affect his relationship and dating choices. One of his friends even told me that Heartbreaker needs to be with a guy who's a "Strict Bottom". What the fuck is a "Strict" bottom??

And then there's this new shorty I've been talking to. We met online, one Sunday night, while I was in the middle of getting ready to go out. Since he happend to live in my neighborhood, I decided to take a small detour by his place on my way to original my destination. I got to his apartment, and was kind of surprized by how much of a cutie he was. Since he didn't have a face pic online, but, a nice body pic, I expected a "butta-face". But, hey, I was going in that direction for the train anyway, so, why not make a small pit stop?

Anyway, we met, hangout in his place, talked for about thirty minutes, and said our goodbye's. In our time together, nothing remotely sexual happened between us. Which was nice since we were just trying to get to know each other. Besides, he's cute, he's nice, he's smart, but, he's not really my "type" body wise.

A few minutes later, after I left, we ended up having an exchange, which he initiated, via text, as follows;

Dude: "Hey. Can I ask you somethin'?"

Roc: "Yeah, what is it?"

Dude: "Are you a top or a bottom?"

Roc: "LOL! Niether...you?"

Dude: "Top...u must be verz then."

Roc: "yea, I guess. Lol."

Next afternoon, while I'm on the bus, he texts me with some type of fuckery.

Dude: "If you had to choose, to get fucked or do the fucking, for the rest of your life, which would you choose?"

Roc: "LOL! What kinda question is that?"

Dude: "Just answer it."

Roc: "Lmao! Niether...you?"

Dude: "I'm a top, so its obvious what I choose. Just pick one."

Roc: "Why do I have to choose one?"

Dude: "I'll give u some time to think about it..."

Roc: "I don't need time to think. Lol!...why is it such a big deal?"

Sidebar: I didn't even really like this guy "all like that". He's cute, but, not really my type. So, I don't even know why I continued with this text fuckery for as long as I did. I think it was a combination of personal boredom mixed with the fact that I like a little comfrontation from time-to-time.

Dude: "Bcuz I need to know what's goin' on if we get into a relationship..."

Roc: "I guess."

Long story, short, we had a little text argument about how I can't date nor be involved with guys who are hungup on labels. He defended himself. We went back and forth on the issue. And, then we basically agreed to disagree.

Anyway, I hate running into guys who are hungup on labels. Not only for themselves, but, for other gay males. I've noticed that our Lesbian counterparts don't seem to have the problem in their community. And, they seem to have great fufilling relationships, without letting labels control their lives.

When are Gay men going to stop being such Label Whores?

;-)

Roca's First Date...How Cute

***Listening To***



Well, like I had planned in the last post, I went out with "Cool" over
the weekend...And, it wasn't as hard, or weird, as I hyped my first date
EVER to be.

We went out, this past Saturday, to the movies to see "Cloverfield" (which, by the way, is a really good flick...the ending was interesting, yet sucked. LOL.). It was a cute experience. The last time I'd gone to the movies with someone was ages ago, in high school...With some chick I
was BFF with, to see a "Harry Potter" movie (LOL).

Anyway, after the movie we got back on the train, and ended up back at his place. I didn't actually "plain" this part...I just got off, at his stop, with him, because I wanted to at least be a gentleman and walk him home. Either way, he invited me in, introduced me to his 15yo lil' sis (who I just LOVE), and took me to his room. Where we chilled, watched a couple movies, talked, and clowned for a few hours. Then, I left.

The only bad thing, to me, was that he didn't even try to make a damn move, on me, while we were sitting on his BED chilling. I even had to put on my "seducer" hat and say: "You don't have to be afraid to touch me, you know."

Anyway, when we talked, the next night, I asked him straight-up why he didn't try ANYTHING. As it turns out, he was waiting for ME to make the proverbial First Move...While I was waiting for HIM to make the First Move. What kind of Fuckery is THIS?!?! LOL, I guess, next time, I gotta just pounce on his ass like a damn lion on a fucking gazelle.

So, I guess I'm actually "seeing" someone now....interesting.

PS. Don't get it twisted...I'm not stupid enough to think weer in any kind of a relationship right now. And I'm defiantly going to keep my options open. I'm just saying...

;-)

The Cute Yella Boy That has All My Attention...aka My Work "Boyfriend"

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So, there's this guy, at my job, that a have a madd crush on (given my
luck, I wouldn't be surprized if he turned out to be an uber friendly,
somewhat flirtatious str8 guy). It all started over the Summer (I think
that's when he started working there), when I first saw his cute ass
(OMG!! My man has the prettyest eyes!). He works the shift before me, in
the warehouse, and we're always passing each other (he's getting off
work, I'm coming in). If I remember right, we started with that whole
eye-contact-always-noticing-each-other "thing" (isn't that some kind of
homo "code", or something?). Then, we escalated to nodding at each other
(recently), and exchanging "whuddup's".

By the way, I don't know his name...Yet!

Anyway, somewhere down the road, I started noticing little "changes" in
our interactions as we saw more of each other. He was grinning now, when
we saw each other and exchanged "hey's & whuddup's"...And, so was
I...And, we still do (is that subtle firting?). Then, I noticed how,
sometimes, he'd kind of go out of his way to acknowledge me...For
example, one nite, I was coming into work and was about to walk past
where he was...And he had this big heavy-ass box in his arms (he was
straining with that bitch, LOL), and he turned around with the bigest
britest SMILE on his face and said "Wassup!" (Like he was happy to see
his Man!).

Sometimes, hell, most of the time, when I see him, it "makes" my nights
before I even clock-in (I know, its stupid..Right?)! Seeing how slow
things were moving for us, I decided to try something. One night, when
we walked past each other, I touched his arm when I said
"whuddup!"...And now, we "dap" when we see each other...Along with the
grins and such. Hell, even when we're not near each other, he
waves/acknoledges me...Grin in tact.

But, ugh, if things keep going at this pace, we should be together in
about 10 years (LOL!)!! I trying to figure out how to start a
conversarion with his cute ass, find out his damn name, and exchange
numbers...How-the-hell-else is he going to become my Boyfriend-Boyfriend
instead just being my Work-Boyfriend (Hell, in my head, this dude is
ALREADY my damn Man! LOL!)??

LMAO!! Tonight, on my bus ride to work, I wrote a lil' note that I might
give to him soon...It says:

"Yo!
Hit me up.
(###)###-####
-my name."

Ugh!! Why does being attracted, to men, have to be so fucking hard!?! And, what am I gonna about ole boy!?!? Ugh!!!!! I need to stop developing "crushes"!

;-)