Tuesday, January 29, 2008

Roca's First Date...How Cute

***Listening To***

Well, like I had planned in the last post, I went out with "Cool" over
the weekend...And, it wasn't as hard, or weird, as I hyped my first date
EVER to be.

We went out, this past Saturday, to the movies to see "Cloverfield" (which, by the way, is a really good flick...the ending was interesting, yet sucked. LOL.). It was a cute experience. The last time I'd gone to the movies with someone was ages ago, in high school...With some chick I
was BFF with, to see a "Harry Potter" movie (LOL).

Anyway, after the movie we got back on the train, and ended up back at his place. I didn't actually "plain" this part...I just got off, at his stop, with him, because I wanted to at least be a gentleman and walk him home. Either way, he invited me in, introduced me to his 15yo lil' sis (who I just LOVE), and took me to his room. Where we chilled, watched a couple movies, talked, and clowned for a few hours. Then, I left.

The only bad thing, to me, was that he didn't even try to make a damn move, on me, while we were sitting on his BED chilling. I even had to put on my "seducer" hat and say: "You don't have to be afraid to touch me, you know."

Anyway, when we talked, the next night, I asked him straight-up why he didn't try ANYTHING. As it turns out, he was waiting for ME to make the proverbial First Move...While I was waiting for HIM to make the First Move. What kind of Fuckery is THIS?!?! LOL, I guess, next time, I gotta just pounce on his ass like a damn lion on a fucking gazelle.

So, I guess I'm actually "seeing" someone now....interesting.

PS. Don't get it twisted...I'm not stupid enough to think weer in any kind of a relationship right now. And I'm defiantly going to keep my options open. I'm just saying...


Wednesday, January 23, 2008

A lil' Update

So, I realize that after this post about the exchange between myself and "Cool", I left you guys kind of hanging.

Here's The Cliff Notes Version:

- "Cool" texted me the morning/noon-ish after (that Saturday).

- We texted back-and-forth, then briefly talked for a minute (we both had different plains that day).

Side Note: Remember how I (and some of you) had doubts as to whether or
not "Cool" was a fellow gay? Well, as it turns out, he's very much "Over The Rainbow" LMAO!

- That Sunday, he called, and we spent about four hours, laying in our
beds, talking and channel surfing (LOL). After that, we got off (the phone...get ya mind out the gutter. LOL).

Side Note: Have you ever had "dead-air" during a conversation, and had to FORCE shit to happen? Ugh! Its like pulling teeth from a damn horse!...Especially since I'm not the most talkative person.

- Later that same night, he called again, we talked for a couple more hours, and ended up watching an episode of "Cheaters" together (and had a BIG ass laugh) before going to bed.

- Ever since then, we mainly txt each other every day.

- We were supposed to go on a lil' date last weekend, but, it was too damn COLD to be trying to go out at night (try -7° and windy outside!).

-Because last weekend escaped us, we're going to play "hookie" from work, on Friday, and go out (I came up with THIS plan).

Hmmmmm I like these little Cliff Note posts...Maybe I'll do it more.


Tuesday, January 22, 2008

Wow! I Became a Bartender Before I Became a Cop

***Listening To***

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It finally happened today! I graduated from Bartending School, and I'm
now a certified Mixologist/Bartender...BAM!! I'm now starting a REAL
grown-up career, at 21.

I'm sooo proud of myself for this accomplishment, that now, when I look
at my certificate/diploma, I can't help but grin (LOL). Hell, for the
first couple hours, after I got it, my lil' ass couldn't stop cheesing'.
Sure, the people probably thought I was crazy of something...But, as
Tyra Banks says: "So What!" I'm gonna enjoy the "wins" that I earn,
dammit (LMAO)!

When think back on the past few weeks, the lack of sleep, the daily
commute, the hard work and practice, and the 16 cups of Dunkin' Donuts
Cappuccino I drank through my classes?...It was all worth it! If not for
the career move, than for the confidence boost. I feel
kinda...Different. And I like it. At least now I'll think a little before
I "pus-out" on something that might seem difficult. For example, trying
to become a P.I.

I can't wait to start working at somebodies club or bar or lounge.


Thursday, January 17, 2008

So Apparently I'm One of Those "Active-Visual" Learners

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*** Listening To***

As it turns out, I'm one of those people who can learn (some)
things/skills by actually DOING them. As you know, I'm currently in
Bartending School. This is my third and last week, and surprisingly,
I'm actually doing quite well. I don't know how, but I can remember
various drinks, ingredients, how to mix things, etc. I'm thinking it has
a lot to do with the practice bars that we use, to perfect our craft.

I haven't exactly "studied" the drink recipes...And, there's a lot of
them (LOL)! Its more like I look at the recipe, go behind the bar, and
make it as many times as I need to, to "get" it down. Sometimes, I even
end up making my own variations on some of the things we've covered
(I'll be sharing those, with you, soon LOL). Once again, I have no idea
how, but with most of the drinks etc that the newbies have to learn, I
automatically know what goes in them.

Anyway, I graduate on Monday. After Monday, I'll be an official
certified Bartender. I'll have an actual "title". I didn't even see this
coming. I NEVER expected to become a Bartender or Mixologist before I
became a Cop. When I get my certificate, I definitely plain on laminating
and framing that bitch ASAP. And, I can already feel the subtile changes
that this accomplishment is making in my attitude, confidence, and my lil'
"swagger" (LOL).

Another thing can't wrap my head around, is that I'm going to be
starting an actual CAREER! Not another JOB or a GIG (even though I might
call it that sometimes)...But, an actual Professional CAREER!...Along
with the regular job I've had for the past year. I'm I ready? After all,
it is one of the things I wanted to work toward in 2008.

As you know, I consider myself to be somewhat of a "Jack of All Trades".
Have I really found one of the things that I could actually be GOOD, or
in time, GREAT at? I guess only time and experience will tell.


Saturday, January 12, 2008

Call Damnit!

Well, earlier tonight, It finally happened...I gave Mr. Cool my number,
when I got to work!

I saw him waiting outside for the bus, and didn't really know what to
do. And, since I can't leave shit alone, instead of just normally
playing "cool" and being shy, I said "fuck it", and went over to his
fine ass! (I actually planned to get to work early, for the sole purpose
of catching him, and giving him The Digits...I just didn't expect to see
him so soon, and I wouldn't have been able to face myself if passed up
this chance.)

Anyway, we said our "whuddups", "dapped", and one minute into our cute
little convo...I asked if he had his phone on him (LOL, I know right!)!!
He definitely knew what was up...because, as soon as he whipped out his
flat and slick lil' Sprint Blackberry PDA thingy, he went straight to the
"New Contact" screen (YESSIR!).

I fumbled around with his gadget while put my info in it, had a cute
little moment when I asked him for a lil editing help, and voila!...He
had my number (I wanted to put the "ball" in his court). We had a little
more lite convo, and before I left, to go in the job, I said "Hit me up
later, so I get your number." He nodded, I left, and I walked into work
with the biggest grin on my face. And, yea, I thought about him all
night long (LMAO!).

Ugh!...I just hope he actually his me with a call or text this weekend!
If he doesn't, he doesn't...If he does, he does...It is what it is. I'm
not gonna shamelessly chase after ANYONE...He knows how to reach me now.

Side note: - Cool introduced himself, to me, a couple nights ago...AFTER I INTRODUCED MYSELF FIRST! The next night, after we said our "whuddups" and got a lil' physical and parted ways, I happened to turn around to get a last look at his swagger, and caught him checking me out!


Friday, January 11, 2008

Constricting My Raging Boa...

I've had it! Enough is enough is enough is enough! I'm making the

Allow me to direct your attention to something that needs directing
to...Controlling those damned "Boners", "Hard-on's", or whatever-the-fuck
kind of vernacular you like to use for your Erections, that just pop-up
at the MOST awkward and unneeded times. Like, when your at work (ugh!),
in class, on public transportation, at the club, etc...We all have
stories (LMAO). Ugh! And, don't you just hate when your wearing jeans,
and have to try to stand up and walk with that thing (if you point str8
out, that is)? And, don't even get me started on basket-ball/hoop/gym
shorts! Or khakis!

Anyway, I'm putting an end to this "pressing" "protruding" "hard" little
quark. This weekend, I'm doing an overhaul...On my drawz! I have mostly
Boxers, with a couple pairs of Boxer-Briefs in the mix. But, now, I'm
making the switch to ONLY snug-fitting Boxer-Briefs (awww the nutz are
gonna be so comfy & happy, LOL). Just gotta find the right "Big-Box" or
Department store where I can get drawz that are not only cute, yet say:
"manly & suave" (LOL).


Wednesday, January 9, 2008

Relationships....A Tricky Business

So, lately, I've been thinking about a lot of things. One of them being
relationships, if its possible (for me) to sustain a long-term one, and
how they work.

Even though I've never been in one, I'm guessing that "relationships" are
unions formed by two people (or, in some cases more) who have feelings
for each other, and decide to put their two separate lives
together...THIS is much easier said than done.

They say "Birds of a feather flock together."

I guess what I'm asking is...Can a hawk (or person) who's flown solo for
soooo long, be easily joined with a fellow hawk (or person)?

Odd realization...I can be a little bit of a Flirt! (LOL)


Sunday, January 6, 2008

Confession On A Dance Floor...My First Time At A Gay Club

***Listening To***

Well, in lou of my New Years post, I decided ot to waste any time, and set out on my first "adventure" for 2008. Saturday night, I decided to attend a Gay club for the very first time. I already knew where I wanted to go...Spin Night-Club, on the Northside. Saturdays are hip-hop & reggae night. The club closes at 3am, so I hopped on the subway at 11:30, and set off to the North.

Since friday and saturday nights are huge party/club nights, in Chicago, the train was just as full as if it were still daytime. I wasn't the only one looking to get into something that night (LOL). I have to admit, I was a little nervous on my train ride, not knowing what to expect. But, when we arrived at my stop, I knew there was no turning back. From being in that area times before, I knew exactly where I was going. Hell, there was even a cute guy, who i saw on the train, walking in the same direction (LOL).

From outside the club, I could hear the booming sounds coming from the backroom's dance floor. When I walked in, the door guys were so cheery and cool while they checked my ID, took my $5 cover, and stamped my hand. When I got into the main building, I was taken by how "chill" everything looked. The first part of the club is just a lounge with a bar, flat-screen tv's playing various videos, and pool tables. What I loved the most was how diverse the crowd was. Men, women, blacks, whites, latinos, young, and older...All in our "gayety" (LOL)! I walked into the backroom/party area and stood by a wall to soak in the atmosphere. Immediately, I took notice of a really cute carmel guy to my right, who was standing with another guy. As I looked aroung, I saw men dancing and chating with other men, and women dancing and chating with other women...And then I thought "Wow! This is just...GREAT!".

The guy from earlier noticed that I glanced at him a couple times, and started talking to me. I figured out later that his questions were the "usual", in this kind of place..."Where's your boyfriend?", "How come you don't got one?", etc. It turned out that Carmel was actually a "cat-daddy" (LOL). It just just happened to be his...42nd birthday!! I would not have EVER thought 42! 30 maybe! I asked him how he looked so good, and he said: "I don't let nothin' stress me baby!...Not my mama, not my grown daughter...!" Yeah, he was mos def under the "influence" (LOL). All I could do was grin. He then started dancing by me when his song started playing. I also found out that we gays love to get all touchy-feely with each other, in certain atmospheres. When Carmel Cat-daddy saw that he wasn't getting anywhere with me, he went over to hit on another "youngin" (who was my age.).

I decided that if I stayed in the same place for too long, people might start think that me and Carmel Cat-daddy were an item. So, I went to the bar, got my cocktail, and stood in a defferent area to listen to the music, checkout some eye-candy, and watch the videos playing on the walls. I realized that I didn't have to be a "dancer" in order to have a nice time...For I wasn't the only one just choosing to stand around and enjoy the show. Sipping on my drink, I was geting a lil' tipsy (the bartender used 95% vodka and 5% 7-up, LOL). As it turns out, the other "youngin", that Cat-daddy hit on, was dragged there by his two older friends (one of them introduced himself to me, and introduced me to "youngin" and his other buddy...Who were both bored.).

By the way, when Beyonce comes on...WATCH OUT! Because, the room goes crazy! LMAO!!

Anyway, as I was sipping my drink, checking out the various "man-candies" (a new word I invented), and getting checked out, I noticed this cute lil' guy that I saw on the dance floor earlier. Lets call him "Gangsta-Papi", LOL. He came over to me and we clinked our drinks together. We started talking, and he told me how "fucked up" he was...Which I was thinking: "Duh!" I stumbled a little bit, and he made a commint about me being "fucked up" too (LOL). I don't know how, but, we ended up leaving the backroom and went to sit in the lounge (It had to be the vodka in my system mixed his sexy ass cologne...Right?). He asked me where my dude was, I said I didn't have one. He asked why, and I said I ddn't know (LOL). He then lifted my cap, took a look, and said: "You sexy as fuck! How you don't gotta dude!?!". I said: "He didn't come around yet." (This was a double meaning.). He then said: "I think he right here!" (I know its not the BEST line, but, he was drunk...ok!).

After our little chat session, we just sat, looking into each others eyes, holding hands, touching, rubbing, licking our lips, and just being...GAY!! And I LOVED it!! I've been "sensual" with another guy before, and I was LOVING it!! Before I knew it, we were leaning into each other, and started kissing! Eventhough he was drunk and kissing kind of "sloopy-ish", he was still madd passionate. I've never experienced anything like that before, and it was great (And Papi's tongue was madd long too, LOL). When we came up for air, I suggested that he write his name/number on a napkin from the bar. But, he couldn't hear. All he could do was stare into my eyes, lick his juicy lips, and grin...Apparently, he was just mesmerized by me and blocked everything else out (LOL). Feeling the magnetic vibe between us, we leaned in again, and made out some more...This time, with Gangsta-Papi showing me much more passion than before! Damn!...He fucking mauled me!...And it felt tooo good! It lasted for a while, and after we came back up for air, he whispered in my ear: "You got me thru da roof shorty...Foreal!"

We played around a little bit more, in the lounge, and got up to go back to the party/backroom (he wanted to go back in). After he gave me a few more lines, they called "last call", and then the "vouging" started. That was...Interesting to say the least (LOL). After the dancing was over, Papi and I went back to the lounge and he gave me his phone so i could call mine from it, to get his number. After that, he went to find the friend he came with, I told him I'd hit him up, and I left.

Walking back to the train, I couldn't help but to have a Cheshire Cat grin planted on my face...Which lasted until I got back home. I haven't felt this good or confident in a WHILE (I was in need of some "validation")! It's the experience and "adventure" that i would never take back...I actually had a nice time there! And I wouldn't mind going back, just to chill in the lounge, have a drink, enjoy the videos on the plasma's, and play some pool.

This must be what its like to be Single...Going out, having a good time, being able to kiss and touch whoever, and not having obligations to any one person. I think like it!


Tuesday, January 1, 2008

A New Year, A New Outlook?

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***Listening To***


Well, last year, my resolution was to become financially stable...Which I did! I got my current job last January, started saving, learned to spend smartly, and YAY!...I reached my goal.
This year, I want to expand what I have, keep saving, and start investing.

This year, I want to start making more changes in my life. I'm already on my way to becoming a bartender (I'm crossing my fingers).

Theres's a few other things I want to work on in 2008:

1. Becoming more adventurous.
2. Stepping outside of my "box".
3. Give men another chance?
4. Being more focused on what I want.
5. Move into my first apartment.
6. Getting past my "issues".
7. NOT hesitating to take advantage of opportunities when they present themselves.
8. Changing my outlook on life?
9. Apply to the police academy & the fire department, during the summer.