Sunday, September 27, 2009

He Don't Wanna Kiss...He Just Wants to Fuck Fuck Fuck.

This post was originally going to be called; "So, He Won't Kiss You...Yet, He Wants a Blowjob, To Blow Your Back Out, and Possibly Have You Climb His Back." But, I figured that would have been too much of a mouth full.

I was at work the other night, talking with one of my gal pals, when the conversation veered off into sex and men. Mainly, the weird sexual hangups that some men seem to have. Like, for example, how a straight guy might refuse to passionately kiss a girl that he's fucking around with, yet, this same guy will eat her pussy until the cows come home. Isn't it odd how these great discussions seem to start when yours truly is around?

I got to thinking about the alternate Gay version of this conundrum. You know, that Gay guy, usually a "top", who doesn't want to kiss nor blow the other guy he's hooking up with (or on a date with), yet, expects to get served some ass with a blowjob on the side. I've personally seen this situation far too many times. But, two times in particular seem to stand out for me. One, an online hookup and potential date, from last Fall, whose fuckery was just too much to deal with. The other, a date from a month ago.

Guy number one, "Homeboy", I met on Adam4Adam. I loved his photos, which later turned out to be completely fake and stolen from an escort's page. The conversation was cute, he seemed intelligent enough, and he had a good job in real estate. With all of that going for him, I figured I would consider talking to him and see it might lead. And, did I mention those hot photos, which he lifted from the sexy escort's page? I mean, he wasn't unattractive, he just wasn't what I expected. Anyway, it was a cold mid-November Saturday night when Homeboy and I decided to hangout at his temporary home, which also housed his family. I got to his place and noticed the difference in his appearance. But, just like he was intelligent enough, over the phone, he was just cute enough, in person, for me to decide not to ask the million dollar question. Plus, I was
curious about him. Not the "I wanna get to know him" kind of curious, but, the "I wanna study him" kind of curious. I mean, I have a guy here who, one, used fake photos online, two, had the balls to meet with me, and three, did feel compelled to address the obvious elephant in the
room. This was a new kind of fuckery, and I had to investigate it further.

Homeboy and I sat on the couch for awhile, channel surfing, until he invited me into a cluttered and cramped guess bedroom, to finish watching "The Borne Supremacy" on HBO. We laid in bed, cuddling, heavy petting, you know, the usual. But, every time I tried to kiss him
anywhere near the mouth, he would do this sly little move where he would try to steer my head to his crotch. Fed up, I asked him what was up. Homeboy then told me that he doesn't kiss anyone until getting to know them better. So, he didn't want to kiss me, yet, he wanted a blowjob. What the fuck kind of logic is that?!?

Mentally, I threw my hands in the air, said "whatever", and gave him some lack-luster head. I mean, I was bored, it was late, and I didn't feel like making a trek all the way back to my place. After I got bored of blowing Homeboy, he got up and went over to a drawed storage
container by the bed. In which case, he pulls out and throws onto the bed a condom and a small jar of "dollar store" Vaseline. I my head, I'm asking myself: "what kind of fuckery is this guy?". I picked up the jar, looked Homeboy square in the eye, and asked what the hell it was for. He
then informs me that its supposed to be "lube". What the fuck is this, that OZ show? I then sighed, looked back at him, and simply stated: "Nah, its really not." I hate when men are uneducated about the "basics" of man-on-man action.

After I shut Homeboy down, we agreed to take our asses to bed. He bitterly slept on his side and I slept on the other, until the morning came, and I took my ass home to sit in front of the TV with a Mcgriddle. After that morning, Homeboy and I never spoke again.

Guy number two, the "Debater", I met back in July. One Saturday, after a week of "sexting" back and forth, we had an impromptu late-night date. There wasn't much romance between us, but, we had a cute time. He took me to Shadow Bar, where I ended up getting another sexy guys' number. We took a late-night stroll around the Gayborhood, which ended in us going to IHOP for whatever meal it is that occurs at three AM. While waiting for our food, we had the chance to really talk. The Debater had a lot going for him. He was not only sexy, but, he was smart-a recent graduate from Los Angeles, who decided move back home, to Chicago, for law school and to teach the art of Debate to high-schooler's. The more we talked, the more i liked him, and seemingly the more chemistry we had.

After IHOP, the Debater and I came back to my place to unwind. We watched a little TV, cuddled, and started fooling around. Between all of the rubbing, touching, and groping, I made my way to kiss him on the lips. While playing with his dick, he gives me the line: "I don't usually kiss somebody til I get to know them..." I then asked him how long that usually takes, which he tells me is two dates. Yet, he was alright with us "sixty-nining" together. I was somewhat fine with that, and we continued our activity. But, not ten minutes later, he broke his little kissing rule, and began the "sex debate". He wanted to have sex, mainly, he wanted to fuck me. I then picked up his earlier line, about kissing, and threw it right back at him.

Needless to say, he didn't like hearing his own line coming from someone else's lips. But, he got over it, and we had a hot little "session" before he left. The Debater and I continued talking, on and off, after that night, but, it just never went anywhere.

My question is this; what is the mentality and reasoning behind the guy who's up for fucking, and everything else under the sun, yet, doesn't want to lip-lock?

7 comments:

back2life said...

Yes, i have experienced this many a time over the past few months. Kissing is person, in your FACE contact. If somebody already has trouble living with their sexuality, kissing might push their limits a little.

Also, i think a lot of men easily couple sex apart from intimacy, so they can easily have sex with someone without giving a care or needed any emotional attachment. The kiss makes it more "real"

Daddy Squeeze Me! said...

My thing is apparently either way that reasoning and rule has worked for them so far so good because the bottoms keep giving it up anyway. If the bottoms didnt give them a damn thing after hearing that, then they would have to obviously come up with something else. They wouldnt have tht power if it did not get them what they still desired most. I would not for one put my lips on someone's dick if i can not even simply kiss their lips.

Crabs could be on that dick and U gon tell me I am supposed to risk ur tainted possibly precum in my mouth from sucking your dick raw, but you can not kiss me? right then and there the session would have been done. That makes no sense. U can stick your dick in me and fuck me with all this force and passion but i cant kiss you........seems to me fucking is wayyy more serious than a kiss.


I mean it goes both ways...bottoms stop giving them what they want cause ure giving them the power to keep those rules alive. If there denied and challenged on it more often...they wouldn't be that way cause it would be too much of a hassle!

CutieTJ said...

I agree with Stella...this hasn't happened to me because well I'm not that experienced and is not dating anyway.

fuzzy said...

Lil bitta ass, lil bitta of ass, lil bitta ass wit a BJ on the side! Now let it rain now clear it out! lmao

Homeboy needs a class on how to fuck! Excuse my German! lmao WTH? I sat here in my chair and chuckled the whole thing off... I mean really? REALLY? I just can't...

I like the debater. He at least stayed in touch. Given the right circumstances maybe something could of come from it, even though those circumstances never presented themselves.

Have you ever thought you had DSL's? I mean some guys get a glimpse at a good mouth and just want to stick something in it. The same thing goes for a bubble booty! I think we are both guilty of this! I get propositioned the same way. If you can't kiss me, then I can't do anything with you, SORRY! It all starts with a kiss...

DA-PROFESSOR said...

Ain't nothing wrong with kissing and cuddling. Sometimes that's even better than sex. The first brother who wanted you to please him, but didn't wanna show u any affection was a jackass. Kissing is a great way to show appreaction

TheBlogArtistFormerlyKnownAsYBandDL said...

I read this several weeks ago, and meant to come back and comment, and forgot.

Here it is, the type of man you are talking about in this post is me.

I have been this man most of my experience with men. I see a little bit of myself in these guys, so I guess I am just a big bag of fuckery myself.

I don't know how to explain it, but I think it all really boils down to intimacy. And kissing makes it a more intimate act that you are doing. For some it is awkward or uncomfortable.

You know what just thinking about it, makes me want to write a post about kissing. I might down the road. Who knows.

I just find it funny, because I have said this to man before.

Anonymous said...

I agree w/Stella-Della. The first time I experienced this was in Miami with this Honduran guy I'd been dancing with all night. He said he didn't want to kiss "because I don't know you, and I have this thing about germs."
This just made no sense to me. I get the "too personal, too intimate" excuse, but you have no problem with giving/getting head or more, but you think kissing is dirty? WTF bullshit reasoning is that?
Nice post bro.