5-13-2010

For the past few months, or better yet, since around last Fall, I have been pretty much on "auto pilot" so to speak. Well, now that I think about it, its sooo NOT "auto pilot"...I do THAT all the time at school and mostly at my dead-end job. I think the word "lost" best describes what I've been since last fall. Yeah, I'm just...lost.

I don't know who I am, I don't know where I'm going, I don't know what my "purpose" is yet, and I'm still trying to figure out who the "real Me" is. When I was younger, I had all these visions and ideas about who I wanted to be, where I wanted to go, and what my life would be about. But, it seems like reality isn't exactly matching up with my imagination. I mean, it took me THIS long to finally embrace my own personal brand of "weirdness", and realize that what I always mistook for "weird" was just my own personal brand of creativity.

On the other hand, it does feel kind of freeing to have the flexibility to just "blow in the wind" and not become nailed down into being just one thing.

Maybe this is who I'm supposed to be after all...the "Tabula Rasa".

;-)