Tuesday, June 24, 2008


Information can be useful/helpful...It can also bite one in the ass, and have one wishing that he could erase what he's just learned...Not because its bad, but, because its information that should be learned gradually rather than in one large dose.

I guess, to me, information can almost like a drug...Once I've had a taste, I want more...

Will I ever stop digging?......Nah, I'm such a junkie! Pretending to be anything other would be quite the charade.


Monday, June 16, 2008


I'm afraid.

I'm afraid that when I become a police officer I won't do as good a job
as I want to do...that I'll somehow lose faith in myself because I'll
realize that I can't make a difference in people's lives.

I'm afraid that I'll remain a slave to my current job...even AFTER I
have a diploma...just out of pure fear of change.

What if I'm wrong about what I'm supposed to be doing with my life?

What if, when I reach that Fork in the Road, I unknowingly choose the
wrong direction?

I have some thinking to do.


Wednesday, June 4, 2008

Embracing Your Inner Sexpot

*Listening To*
Get Naked ( I Got A Plan) by. Britney Spears

So, I guess I took a page out of Samantha Jones' book, and had an impromptu Afternoon Delight the other day....with a guy I've only known for all of two hours. He's a classmate of mine, he's a hottie, and, he's extremely in the closet.

Anyway, we talked after class, hung out for a little bit, and then...we ended up at my house! This kind of thing NEVER happens to me. In fact, I consider myself to be quite the prude. But, Classmate is oh-so smooth with his personality, and, all-of-a-sudden we were messing around in my bed.

By "messing around", I mean we just made-out, had a little 69 action, and masturbated together. It was...interesting, to say the least.

I wouldn't have anything romantic to do with him, and, don't get me wrong, he's a nice attractive guy, but, he has this whole "on tha low" mentality which I cant be bothered with. I need to be with someone who's NOT afraid to go on a date in public, walk in the park, and all the other things that happy gay couples do together without giving a fuck, because its 2008...dammit!

I can't date a guy who feels the need to say: "This stays between us, right?" I mean, what the fuck? Who the hell are YOU?...Usher? I can't be bothered with such fuckery.

Anyhow, I left this experience feeling a kind of liberation at the fact that I even had the "professionally" or confidence to conduct a sexual liaison without there being feelings attached. I used to feel some kind of way about people who did "hook-up's" or "jump-off's". But, now, my outlook has shifted. There's nothing wrong with two grown consenting adults having a little SAFE "fun" together.

Which leads me to my point. I think its quite healthy for everyone, men and women, to every now and then, release and embrace that inner sex-kitten or sex-pot or slut or whatever you feel comfortable calling it, in a SAFE manner. Even those in relationships can practice this with their partner. I guess, for the couples, it would be the equivalent of pulling out that Freakum Dress or pulling that Freakum Card for their lover.

All of that being said, embracing or exploring this other side of one's self doesn't always have to involve anything sexual. Its different for everyone. For some, it could mean being somewhat of a Flirt or throwing all of one's rules out of the window and getting so-n-so's number. For others, it could mean installing a pole in the bedroom and surprising that special someone with the VIP Room treatment.

To each, his own...


Tuesday, June 3, 2008


I haven't written anything in a while. For the past couple weeks, I've been so busy with moving into this new place and running here-&-there to get this-&-that...and still working at night.

I LOVE this new area! Its metropolitan, multicultural, and, there's Take-Out places and date spots galore!! I'm staying in this borough forever...the next best area would be the Loop or downtown.

Anyway, Shorty, the guy I had that great date with, almost a month ago, isn't on my radar anymore...we weren't meant to work. He's a GREAT guy, but...We hadn't even gone on a second date yet, and he was ALREADY making more apologies, for plains that fell through, then I could count. It is what it is.

Its like the saying goes: "When one door closes, another door opens."