***Listening To***
Well, my ego got a serious blow to it, tonight. Earlier, I went out, to a club, partly to just get out of the house and partly to find a new guy to replace “Cool”. Don't get me wrong, we're still talking, but things are moving way too fucking slow for me! He's lack-luster, boring, doesn't give me the attention/validation that I need, and, bottom line, I need to make sure I have a “spare” before I officially put an end to this Pre-School make-believe shit.
Anyway, I go to the Gay club, for the second time...And its a completely OPPOSITE experience than it was the first time that I went. It was madd boring. Since I don't dance and since I'm not really a “social” person, I just stood around listening to the music, looking at the crowd, and sipping my drinks. All the while, not ONE SINGLE man hit on me!! I mean, DAMN!...I looked damn hott! And still, no dice! I figured that I might have a better time if I had another drink, to loosen up a bit. LOL, yeah I was “buzzed”...yet pissed and lonely. I also noticed that almost EVERYONE was there with they're friends/buddies...Which I DONT have! Hell, there were even a couple (man & woman), who asked me if I were having a good time, when I sat down.
Since I'm not exactly a “fun” kind of person, do I give-off a certain “serious” vibe?
Maybe I just need to face the facts, and realize that the universe is trying to tell me something:
1. For the FIRST TIME, I come out of my shell and actively pursue a guy...And it turns out to be a disaster!
2. I cant someone new...Even at a GAY bar!
3. I was MUCH better off NOT dealing with men and I should go back to the way that things were.
Yeah, if things don't turn around soon, I'm done...AGAIN!
;-)
4 comments:
You have to do more than just show up at a club and be seen, mix and mingle. step out of your comfort zone and you might just enlarge it! Don't give up so soon on something you just got into! chin up, look forward, and strut! lol
NO ! Don't give up, when you least expect it...you are going to get your spare.
ROTF! Yo I don't know you but I absolutely love you ma dude. The innocence mixed with a twist of Fantasy neatly tucked under a fitted and expressed eloquently. First with 'Cool', he actually sounds like a regular dude meaning that he's not the emotional type. He doesn't require the attention and has a hard time fawning over someone they are interested in (TRUST ME I KNOW. I am 'Cool' and I'm currently in trouble for it.). Remember that ya'll are just dating so don't put all your eggs in one basket. Just play it cool. Never let no man you're 'dating' consume your every thought.
Second, man we are like brothers when it comes to the club. Nobody pays any attention to me either. It's the aura we give off pappo. Mines is confidence and swagger and yours seems to be 'IT'S ME BITCHES!' Either one intimidates. Next time you go out try to consciously smile or at least have a coy smirk when you lock eyes with someone. It'll work wonders. Let me know how it goes and email ya boy sometime.
Yours truly,
~Damnit!
Hey...folks sense when you're not feeling social AND don't want to get their face cracked approaching you when you're not looking friendly. Stay home until you're ready to come out and be social....practice a smile and what's a drank without the two step...LOL
Live pa!
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