Between Year 21 & Year 22, I've Come Closer To Becoming My Authentic Self

*Listening To*
"Part Of Me" by. En Vouge
"Mobile" by. Avril Lavigne
"Purple Rain" by. Prince

So, one month from this date...On May 29th...I officially turn 22.

I say "officially" because I consider myself to be older, ever year at New Years, when the clock hits midnight. I don't really do anything different on my Birthday...its just another day. I mean, after my mom died, the day just lost all its "pzazz". Considering she was ALWAYS the one who made such a big deal out of the day.

And, I'm always alone on my birthday...even before I ran away from Cleveland, after high school, and moved to Chicago. And, now, there's absolutely NO ONE around to make anything of it.

There's just no reason to celebrate...So, I just forget about it like its any other day.

Anyhow, I was at work, one night last week, just thinking. And, then it hit me...I'm more outspoken then I used to be! I'm not all shy about opening my damn mouth about a lot of things anymore. I'm not afraid to look people square in the eyes and tell them what I think. I'm becoming more and more "comfortable" and confident with...ME! Does that even make sense?

Don't get me wrong, I'm still the same ole quiet Me...A man of few words. THAT is one of the things that will NEVER change...Its one of the things that make me...ME!

That being said, I'm definitely NOT as passive (let shit slide, lay down and take whatever) as I used to be.

I guess its called...Growing?

;-)

My Thoughts On...Steve Wilkos

I've been catching his little "show" on and off for a while now. Its basic premise is...Steve spending an hour yelling at guests for various reasons. Maybe they're just plan morally reprehensible, or they've wronged someone else (who come to the show for "help" or
"vindication").

Bitch please! Its all too obvious what this Ego Trip Circus is really about.

Its a personal Ego-Feeder for good ole Stevie. What is an Ego-Feeder? Yes, its a term I've made up. Its ANYTHING that we, as people, purposely do in order to feed our own Ego's. Some are good/innocent, others are bad. Prime examples?...Kids teasing each other for various reasons, adults talking about each other, women making catty comments, and, sometimes, Gay men "reading" each other (LOL).

Anyway, I can just imagine the producers of this show going through whatever process they go through to choose the most morally irreprehensible people for this guy to berate on national television....WITH NO RESOLUTION WHAT-SO-EVER!!

Don't get me wrong, SOMETIMES its really entertaining and funny to watch Mr. Wilkos basically "read" someone for pure filth.

Oh yes sir, I often wish I had my own show, where I could yell "I'm better than you!" at social miscreants, and boost my own Ego...I think everyone would love to just have there own version.

This show is in its first season, and its already tired. I give half of another season.

Side Note: I'm not defending any of the quest from this show. I'm just saying...This spectacle is about as "real" as Jerry Springer.

Funny thing is, if I'm around my TV at 2-whatever, I always found myself thinking/saying "Lets see who Steve is screaming at today." Then I wait or General Hospital to go to commercial and change the channel.

;-)

I Have To Pull Some Magic Outta My Ass To Turn A Sardine Can Into A Palace

So, I've seen my soon-to-be new apartment, and it...will take some
getting used to. I love the building...the inside has a very old
fashion hotel-ish look, its in a cool area, and its CLEAN.

Ugh!...if only the walk-in closet, with shelves (or a shoe area, LOL), wasn't
bigger then the damn bathroom!

And the only "real" furniture I'll have is whatever bed I end up buying. But, all is not lost...I took a little trip to Target, and came up with some ideas for making my new home into MY home.

Another plus is that their are a ton of take-out places in the area (LOL)!

I'm definitely leaning toward getting this place.

;-)

A Lost Connection & A New Plain

Playing: "Migrate (featuring T-Pain)" By. Mariah Carey

Ugh! My damn Internet connection was out ALL damn weekend...I came home from work Friday-night-Saturday-morning ready to relax with my snack and watch an episode of "Lost" online, when, to my chagrin, the damn Internet was off in the whole damn building. Meaning that I couldn't post anything all weekend.

Luckily, the weekend wasn't a complete lost.

Just a few things:

I went out Saturday night and had a nice time.

I've started looking for an apartment online, and found a place for $500 a month utilities included in the rent....Hopefully, I won't have to go all "Ty Posington" and a dump into a palace...Granted, I haven't SEEN it yet. But, that being said, I hope to in my new place on my birthday (May 29th).

Since my class is canceled, this coming Friday, I've decided to go on another job interview...At a new bar downtown.

I've decided that, since I want to take the exam for the Police Department later this summer, I'm going to try to a summer course that'll help me with it.

;-)