6-24-2008

Information can be useful/helpful...It can also bite one in the ass, and have one wishing that he could erase what he's just learned...Not because its bad, but, because its information that should be learned gradually rather than in one large dose.

I guess, to me, information can almost like a drug...Once I've had a taste, I want more...

Will I ever stop digging?......Nah, I'm such a junkie! Pretending to be anything other would be quite the charade.

;-)

6-15-2008

I'm afraid.

I'm afraid that when I become a police officer I won't do as good a job
as I want to do...that I'll somehow lose faith in myself because I'll
realize that I can't make a difference in people's lives.

I'm afraid that I'll remain a slave to my current job...even AFTER I
have a diploma...just out of pure fear of change.

What if I'm wrong about what I'm supposed to be doing with my life?

What if, when I reach that Fork in the Road, I unknowingly choose the
wrong direction?

I have some thinking to do.

;-)

Embracing Your Inner Sexpot

*Listening To*
Get Naked ( I Got A Plan) by. Britney Spears

So, I guess I took a page out of Samantha Jones' book, and had an impromptu Afternoon Delight the other day....with a guy I've only known for all of two hours. He's a classmate of mine, he's a hottie, and, he's extremely in the closet.

Anyway, we talked after class, hung out for a little bit, and then...we ended up at my house! This kind of thing NEVER happens to me. In fact, I consider myself to be quite the prude. But, Classmate is oh-so smooth with his personality, and, all-of-a-sudden we were messing around in my bed.

By "messing around", I mean we just made-out, had a little 69 action, and masturbated together. It was...interesting, to say the least.

I wouldn't have anything romantic to do with him, and, don't get me wrong, he's a nice attractive guy, but, he has this whole "on tha low" mentality which I cant be bothered with. I need to be with someone who's NOT afraid to go on a date in public, walk in the park, and all the other things that happy gay couples do together without giving a fuck, because its 2008...dammit!

I can't date a guy who feels the need to say: "This stays between us, right?" I mean, what the fuck? Who the hell are YOU?...Usher? I can't be bothered with such fuckery.

Anyhow, I left this experience feeling a kind of liberation at the fact that I even had the "professionally" or confidence to conduct a sexual liaison without there being feelings attached. I used to feel some kind of way about people who did "hook-up's" or "jump-off's". But, now, my outlook has shifted. There's nothing wrong with two grown consenting adults having a little SAFE "fun" together.

Which leads me to my point. I think its quite healthy for everyone, men and women, to every now and then, release and embrace that inner sex-kitten or sex-pot or slut or whatever you feel comfortable calling it, in a SAFE manner. Even those in relationships can practice this with their partner. I guess, for the couples, it would be the equivalent of pulling out that Freakum Dress or pulling that Freakum Card for their lover.

All of that being said, embracing or exploring this other side of one's self doesn't always have to involve anything sexual. Its different for everyone. For some, it could mean being somewhat of a Flirt or throwing all of one's rules out of the window and getting so-n-so's number. For others, it could mean installing a pole in the bedroom and surprising that special someone with the VIP Room treatment.

To each, his own...

;-)

6-3-2008

I haven't written anything in a while. For the past couple weeks, I've been so busy with moving into this new place and running here-&-there to get this-&-that...and still working at night.

I LOVE this new area! Its metropolitan, multicultural, and, there's Take-Out places and date spots galore!! I'm staying in this borough forever...the next best area would be the Loop or downtown.

Anyway, Shorty, the guy I had that great date with, almost a month ago, isn't on my radar anymore...we weren't meant to work. He's a GREAT guy, but...We hadn't even gone on a second date yet, and he was ALREADY making more apologies, for plains that fell through, then I could count. It is what it is.

Its like the saying goes: "When one door closes, another door opens."

;-)

Where The Hell Am I?

***Listening To***
Just Fine by. Mary J. Blige

It feels like, a few months ago, I just went to sleep one night and woke up in some alternate world. Like when Catwoman took her little trip the the Hell Planet...The world is the same, but with subtle differences in MY life. (I'm such a Comic geek!)

I say this because, for some time now, everything has been going extremely smoothly and NORMAL in my life...Suspiciously smooth. Which hasn't been the case in quite a while.

School has been going really well...I don't owe them any money now...I've been able to register for both Summer and Fall classes ALREADY...I'm moving off campus to avoid those outrageous housing fees.

Everything with my first apartment is going great so far...I'm really looking forward to having my own place.

And, as far as I can see, things are going to smooth in the foreseeable future also.

And, as self-sufficient as I am, a part of wants to say that the only thing missing is...a good man.

All of that being said, subconsciously, I'm waiting for that proverbial Other Shoe to drop.

But, I'm not stupid, so I'm going to enjoy the Wins where I can get them...for as long as they last.

;-)

Huh...Interesting.

So, today I finally got the KEY to my new apartment...YAY! I don't actually "move in" for a couple weeks, but, this gives the the opportunity to buy things from Whatever Store and take them straight to the new place. Instead of lugging everything to the dorm and then from the dorm to the apartment.

Interesting development:

I found out that a guy I talked to for a hot second, back in March, is actually living in my new building. How do I know this? Because we crossed paths today...in the building's lobby!

Since we only hung out ONCE, I'm assuming he doesn't remember who I am....which is fine and dandy.

Why did we only hang out ONCE? Because of his damn attitude! He's sexy as fuck, but, that damn attitude that he likes to don is NOT cute...He actually has some "Candy Girl" ways about him (thanks for the term, Derrick)....Which I'm not into.

(Would've been nice if he'd waited a few dates BEFORE he showed me his "other" side. LOL!)

So, here's the rundown on what happened with WCG (Wannabe Candy Girl)...We met online. We talked on the phone and had a nice chemistry. We set up a little date-hangout thing. We were hanging out at his temporary place, and having a nice little time, until...He threw a damn TANTRUM! Well, not really a "tantrum" parse. More like a fucking Bitch-Fit. Why? Because his cable reception was acting up, and he couldn't watch the stupid Making The Band finale and see his precious Danity Kane perform.

Me, being the cool-headed guy that I am, mearly suggested that he could watch it online the next day or catch the 20 repeats on MTV. After that, he THREW ME OUT! What a terrible hostess!

So, on my way home, via txt, he tells me he's "sorry". And, I let him have it...I was pissed! I did a little "future math" and figured that his Bitch-Fit was only a taste of what to expect if I were to ever become involved with this guy. And, I'm too laid-back and cute to be always dealing with someone who has Drama DeJour. So, I left his ass alone, chalked it up as experience, and moved on.

If we cross paths again (which I'm sure we will)? I'll keep it cute and professional.

Anyhow, living situation aside, last weekend I went out on my first REAL date with a really great guy. It was romantic, there was chemistry, there was some PDA, and, it was just a great time.

;-)

Note To The Universe #1

Uh uh!

My name is NOT Captain Save-A-Hoe!...Nor, will it EVER be!

Child, please!...Playing Captain Save-A-Hoe is exactly how innocent people get mixed up in all kinds of negative shit!

If there's a way where I can get paid handsomely for this service, like being a Public Relations Rep for a celebrity, then, maybe.

Otherwise?...Uh uh!

Keep those who are in need of Captain Save-A-Hoe far far far away from me!

Thank You.

;-)